Something?

The truth is that we are both drunken doctors scrambling, operating with rusty scalpels. I am building on shaky ground. Fault-lines for homes. All of my skies are grey and smoky from the polluted breath she breathes. And in my Southern Californian sunlight I will bronze over with toughened skin that should never be this thick. My trees may be crooked and sideways, but it only makes them easier to climb. Acid rain is nothing but the sweat of the dead as they run their marathons in the shadows. My soapbox is broken so I will create a new one with discarded bones that I found in my childhood fort. My hidden place, my secret agent lifestyle. And as the rate of change increases I will tuck and tumble down these hills and into the cracks of the Earth. Here I will find home. Here I will find my reflection in the slithering lava. Here I will sleep.

New World

I was hunting beasts for the warmth in the wild
Like my ancestors did with war paints on their faces
But now I am stuck inside brick and plaster
I see nature through a stained-glass window
So out of touch with everything else
I don't understand what urges I feel
We can smash things up and drink and free
Ourselves from the ashes of the past
But throwing rocks through the barriers
Won't erase what's now attached

So what if I sail to a New World
Where avalanches aren't just empty threats?
I'd stand on top of the mountains
And scream loud enough to drown myself

I was sitting silently beside the sea
Like my ancestors did in times of outer peace
But I had plans to trash the place
In hopes of finding my inner peace
And now I'm fighting battles against everyone
There's not release for the intangibles
You say you want to live fast and die young
But haven't we been dead since that day
We threw ourselves into the wind
With no control over anything but how
We viewed the other hostages we took

I'd sail today
God damn, I'll sail today

Growing Evergreens

She opened not her mouth to speak,
"Is it life or is it me?"
And I was foolish, yet again,
I thought I could choose both.

Life is proven by suffering,
And if that amounts to anything,
My world is dense with someone else's,
Life as thick as evergreens.

If heat is opposite to cold,
Then why do I often feel both,
When tucked into my cozy bed,
Where memories can strangle?

If touching is allowed in dreams,
And offers me a place to be,
Who am I to turn away,
And betray them with my opened eyes?

Hope need not be warranted,
I'm going down, I'm seeing red,
I justify, declaring reason,
I've had this dream before.

If words I hear do not exist,
And my ears don't try to resist,
I am foolish, yet again,
To hear what is not spoken.

I claim to kill to keep surviving,
When casualties are all my conniving,
Scratchy faces of the past,
That haunt for lack of better choices.

She opened not her mouth to speak,
"Is it life or is it me?"
And I was foolish, yet again,
I thought I could choose both.

Straight Forward Never Works

I dreamed my face was a clock.
The hands were spinning without care,
And the numbers were made of wax,
And they spiraled towards infinity.

I'm not a fire starter,
I'm not the seventh seal.
Bones that don't break get harder,
And my austerity is surreal.

Even as the hills grow closer,
My friends all turn to glowing,
And I am here,
I am weightless, I am numb,
I am pulling you down,
As I weigh you with nothing at all.

Tick tock, my mouth is moving.
Synaesthetic skies are aging.
Oh, if I had that moment back,
You'd never know,
You'd never care,
What that hand would feel like.

I'm not a fire starter,
I'm not the seventh seal.
Bones that don't break get harder,
My austerity is surreal.

What the taste would be,
The feel of heat,
Of bodies moving in the sheets.
If brains do cry,
These wilted eyes,
Will swim forever for their lives.
How cowards moan,
With hearts of stone.
They kill me twice, yet I condone.
What lies he speaks,
As we seem weak,
His future is bleak,
Because I know,
That he will never sleep at night,
Alone.

FUCK YOU

Incandescent Preterit

I am charged like a cloud held static in the sky,
With pointed fingers cast straight down.
Spitting up but still swallowing the rhetoric,
The incandescent preterit,
Of midnight laughing,
Which, by chance,
So sweetly stolen,
Much like the crooks behind the register,
Would love to disbelieve.
Spacing out in a dense field of oxides,
How could I,
Know to carry my own weight,
If it all soups together?
I am erratic consequences,
That pull down space itself into this void,
Of inconsistency.
As if the world would bother to notice,
How my shapeless form is nearing,
The edge of light,
The dawn of symmetry.

Surprise!

Hi Mackenzie! Hi hi hi hi hi! This is the surprise, aren't I clever? Be surprised!

Closer

I'm well aware that it's not enough,
Maybe you should just look a little closer.
Don't read between the lines, baby, just read them.
Maybe you're looking too close now.

Waxing in riddles because straight forward never worked.
A cold, hard stare is more powerful than words,
But when you cut out the eyes from the picture,
The backdrop tells you everything you need to know.

So cut it out for me to make it easier,
Cut it out for me to make the riddles that much simpler.
Black out the teeth, carve the way to your senses,
No more than stencils on your mirror,
Once attached to the edges but now just the frame itself,
The engines of our creation.

I'm well aware that it's not enough,
Maybe you should just look a little closer.
Don't read between the lines, baby, just read them.
Maybe you're looking too close now.

White and black to your technicolour resistance,
You shine with a shimmer the stars would kill for.
When you gleam your eyes back at the pictures,
The light is too bright for your hands to blind.

So cut it out for me to make it easier,
Cut it out for me to make the riddles that much simpler.
The answer has always been beneath the surface,
As the cameras trace the outlines of our souls.
Flashing against the invisible faces that walk alone,
The wrinkles of our true age.

I'm well aware that it's not enough,
Maybe you should just look a little closer.
Don't read between the lines, baby, just read them.
Maybe you're looking too close now.

Impression

I could make a suggestion
Leave you with the impression
That I've changed my ways, got my priorities straight
And made a fist towards regression

I'm not standing alone here
I'm not the only one with the fear
Of being left behind, misinterpreting signs
And not breaking the new frontier

Without reading fine print and lies
Can't you hear laughter behind her cries?
I think it's finally gone out of line
It's time that you had a look around
Side to side, not just up and down
It's not enough to keep holding ground

There's nothing like pure irrelevance
To coincide with false eloquence
Find out you don't need me, invisible wounds still bleeding
And every word that's said makes no sense

Without reading fine print and lies
Can't you hear laughter behind her cries?
I think it's finally gone out of line
It's time that you had a look around
Side to side, not just up and down
It's not enough to keep holding ground
To hold me down...

It's not enough to make it to the top
The fall is always harder
You've got it made 'cause you're so clever
But there's always someone smarter
Stained, look into my eyes and tell me they aren't pained
It's not enough to blame the change so
Blame the rain for not washing it away
And for playing games to outsmart her

Without reading fine print and lies
Can't you hear laughter behind her cries?
I think it's finally gone out of line
It's time that you had a look around
Side to side, not just up and down
It's not enough to keep holding ground
To hold me down...me down...

Virtuous You

Malevolent me
Dare I say it, the real me
I take control of even centipedes
As if I know I'm better
Virtuous you
And dare I say it, the Godly you
Pull me into your wings
Where I'd know right from wrong

Though I'm alone
My iceberg stare into the ocean is
Warranted
Though I am cold
Concealed emotions are revealed
My hands are scraping just to steal
Your knightly piece of mind

Pretentious me
My thoughts, my feelings are
So much more important than yours
That I don't listen anymore
Valiant you
So noble, so quick, so courageous
My hero won't be there to save me
To find the truth in my lies

My worth is greater
My days are harder
And I'm afraid of holding on
Your eyes are brighter
Convictions stronger
I choose to wallow in my safe delusion

Though I'm alone
My iceberg stare into the ocean is
Warranted
Though I am cold
Concealed emotions are revealed
My hands are scraping just to steal
Your knightly piece of mind