Who Dares Wins

Sometimes awe
Adoration
Appreciation
And lust
Can make you feel loved enough
To give it all.

And honestly
What it means to me
Don't mean a thing to you
That part, I know, is true.

We stop the fission
Start our mission
Progressive eyes
Your vision
Hands tied.

Start the fragmentation
Believed in elevation
But the signals flared
I still dared;
Evidently
Who dares don't always win.

Compression kills
Let's test this will
And study how
To keep this mouth still.

Because cannonballs
And shivering skin
Building walls
So you can grin
Does break my body
Break my bones
And live.


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I don't know where the hell this came from. It seriously just popped right out of nowhere. The first stanza was just something I happened to say. Then I was like, sure, a poem sounds ok right about now. So this came to be. I don't know what is going on anymore. I'm writing music while washing dishes and creating poems from everyday speech. What on earth is happening.

Lockpick Fingers

Tousled
My twisted hands gripped at my future
Held it like sand
When you squeeze too hard it escapes.

Trying
Since when was breathing not instinctive?
I dream of lockpick fingers
But wake up only to find
No combination
No key
It's all lost on me.

So sensory
Smells are memories
And while I've got recorded sight
It won't help me
As I silently tie my tongue.

The right thing's not the right thing
When the scene is wrong
And intentions aren't worth mentioning
When the deed is done.

Heaving
Spitting it up to save myself
Because nobility only lasts
One short lifespan.

Dreaming
Not called nightmaring for a reason
But when you're searching for the answers
You will see
There are only consequences.

Living life with the mentality
That since muscles grow tougher with use
That I will be stronger with abuse
And it tears me up
And breaks me down
And the certainty I see
In the words you say to me
Leave no room for doubt
For hoping
For optimistic pleas.
So the stares that stun my smile
Will have me standing for a while
Here with wails and flailing arms
Splintered pieces left behind
These tossed desires
In bottled mire
Sold to bidders
Who understand that the things worth taking
Are always taken.


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Last night I ACTUALLY thought I was dying. It was the worst I have ever felt. Ever. To be quite honest I probably could have died had I been just a little more dumb. I will never make that mistake again. That must be what dying feels like. Sometimes I forget that I'm not actually invincible.


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You stole me from myself and it was never meant to be, was it. You unlocked me with your touch and you ran with me. I do not know how to lock me up again. I am vulnerable. Insecure. Left wide open. I am a picked lock. Precision. Skill. Emotional unraveling. Safes do not imply safety; we are not perfect.

But I am ok.

Troubled Paradise

There's a well gone dry which held these lives
That don't exist anymore
With a discordant whisper resounding
I am wild to believe in me

The sun is sleeping with deaf ears
I cannot await for all of these years

In a town where I lived before the war
Wishes always came true
With a twist of their wrists it disappeared
Much to all our fears

The deep, dark ocean hides your face
The only path is one I can't trace

Like a parasite that I can't fight
I am stretched so very thin
With walls plastered against more walls
I am trapped in my own fall

There is something I can't seem to find
Win or lose I am left behind
Nothing can save me from my
Troubled paradise


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This is so old.

I have been working so hard. Trying so hard. And I am trying to be patient, I really am. It's all so confusing. But there are always options and always solutions if one is willing to look and think. I will focus. I will prepare. I will stash away and look forward to another day. Things will be just fine. In fact, they will be great. I just have to stay patient and work at my peace.

I'm so scared I will become that which I hate.
I'm so scared I already have.

Rules Are a Rule of the Past

In the middle of the night
I told you
Take your time
It will be alright
But what you did not know
Was that I was to go
In the middle of the night
In the middle of the night

I'll race you to the middle class
Two kids, a cat, and a compact car
We'll take our time
Having a blast
Off into commercial space travel
Because rules are a rule of the past

So while the washer is going
And the tv is glowing
Take your time
It will be just fine
If you think that I'm leaving
Baby, you're mistaken
I'm only disappearing
For a little while

And when our white walls
Surround us
Our weak bones
Will ground us
But if we're judged
By our actions
Then what we've done
Defines us

We all grow tired of hating games
Burning bright like a fading star
But we will find what we're looking for
Just some of us have to go so far away


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I got into this mood that never seems to fall over me, so I had to write this quick even though that's how I usually write anyways. It flew out in about five minutes. I miss clarity. I miss focus. I'm going to chart out so many paths that when they overlap they will spell out the word happiness and I'll leave it at that. I haven't been home in over a week. I just don't think that this emptiness is because of that, but I mostly wish it were.

I'm going to finish my resume and apply for jobs and I'm going to stare at my class schedule and plot out my days and I WILL smile at the future, god damnit. I miss that tree I fell asleep under.

Tiger's Heart

I know I'm lucky
I know I'm lucky
Yes, I'm so lucky
But I will never get out
I know I'm lucky
So very lucky
Yes, I'm so lucky
But I will never get out of here
Not this time, no
Little girls lighting candlesticks
On tabletops, a burning tip
Oh, don't reject my request
To resign, oh, not this time, no
I've gone as far as I can go
Look to the sky and I spy
With my little eye a reason to fly
Oh, supernova's coming fast
How will I react if my words are trash?
Spend my life constructing paper wings
Unlike wax I'm sure these will last
But this tiger's heart is always wrong
I'm the climax in the very best song
A song you always sing
The current of air beneath my wings
I've gone as far as I can go
And I will never get out
You'll never let me go
Swallow it down like a little pill
The ones you take to keep you still
So you won't spill out your thoughts
Be brave enough to not get caught
Strong enough to break your own heart
Rip it apart until you're back at the start
Life is on repeat...repeat...repeat...
I've gone as far as I can go
But I will never get out
I've gone as far as I can go
You'll never let me go


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Ok so I wrote this several years ago and I've only just begun to put music to it. The words will get some adjustments most likely, which is the most I can really say about them. It's actually one of those peppy songs that will utilize a lot of the B and high E strings. I guess we'll just see what happens and if the music ever actually does get written. It is rather different from the other things I've written, and you might find it a bit underdeveloped, but you haven't heard it. Trust me.

For the Best

The sun may rise on the other side
I only see it when it sets
I've walked backwards twice before
Always tripping on the threats

He told me how I was wrong
That everything I knew was tainted
From nothing grew the big picture
The same picture he always painted

I was sold on the first night
Never knew I'd get this chance
If I'm wrong it's for the best
At least I took a stance

I've never touched a soul so rough
No I've never touched a soul

The sun may rise on the other side
I only see it when it sets
I've walked backwards twice before
Always tripping on the threats

Sometimes we're just speechless
When we want everyone to hear us
But I believe in the atoms
Composing stratums beneath us

I was sold on the first night
Never knew I'd get this chance
If I'm wrong it's for the best
At least I took a stance

There are no voices here
That speak more than softly
Just one second is all I need
To show you that I'll be

I've never touched a soul so rough
No I've never touched a soul

I know who I am
I know who I am
I know who I am
I know who I am

I was sold on the first night
Never knew I'd get this chance
If I'm wrong it's for the best
At least I took a stance

I've never touched a soul so rough
No I've never touched a soul


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More collective effort has gone into this song than probably any other. There are some lines borrowed from ancient poetry of mine, but a significant amount is new. I wrote music for it which has a nifty little solo. It has a simple enough melody so that I can play it and sing it at the same time. So I suppose I am rather proud of it. If you are bothered by the parts that are repeated then that is just too bad. It is more for me to know the structure of the song. Enjoy.